Long time

There's been so much going on. Lots of family bonding, school happenings, crazy students, husband traveling, and a tragedy. I will get to the rest of the happenings later. However, right now is not the time for that.

Two weeks ago my best friend Megan lost her 4 month old son. As of right now there is no definite reason why and as such the family thinks it was SIDS, sudden infant death syndrome.  It is a very tragic thing to happen to children but it does happen.  My biggest regret is never having met him. We had the opportunity but never did. I hurt for his parents, Megan and Alex, but they have been so strong thus far. Today at the memorial service we sang two worship songs. They are grieving parents but still find the strength to praise the Lord. They are reading a book which I think is called Heaven. Megan said earlier today it is helping them better understand where Jake is. They don't have a complete peace about the situation but they are leaning on each other and on Christ. It truly is amazing and a work of God. Honestly, it is something I cannot fathom or understand.

Their strength has been so encouraging though. It has changed some things in my marriage. It has shifted my thinking from a "why did this happen" to a "God is faithful in all things" mindset. They are a testament to Christ and I am incredibly thankful for them.

It's scary. When I was a daycare teacher we learned about SIDS every year. I have never known anyone directly affected by it. Now that I do, it makes me fearful.

Holy Moley!

Man oh man I will be so glad when this semester is over! I have found that the classes at UNT just aren't ready for middle school teachers yet.  Lately I've been writing lesson plans for social studies, math, and ELA. Hmmmm....pretty sure I'm a science teacher though...imagine that!!
I went to my first job fair last week. What a crazy mess!! I have yet to determine the point of going besides being able to say "I was there and talked to you but out of over 100 people I'm sure you don't remember anybody." How useful...really. However, many of the HR reps and principals told me I shouldn't have a terribly hard time finding a job because I'm science AND esl! Woohoo!!!
I'm really nervous about my cert tests though. I'm taking the practice PPR and practice 4-8 science. If those go well then I'll take the real things and be officially certified!

I'm very excited about this week! After the hell that is school projects are over I get to relax with friends and family!! We FINALLY get to meet Jake. He is about twoish months old and his mom is a friend who is very near and dear to my heart. On thursday Mike finally gets to meet my Grandma Cookie and then mom and I pull an all nighter and go shopping on friday. Yeah, we're part of that crazy crowd and Kohl's opens at 3AM!!!!! Saturday we're spending all day with a whole gaggle of Smiths and sunday we're celebrating mine and Mike's birthdays! I finally get to see Carrie, another friend who is near and dear to my heart! OH! And to top it off, we get to see Shiloh twice!! Two days in a row! What a fantastic birthday. This is a much needed break, as soon as I decide to stop doing school work and actually start enjoying the break.
I hope to learn how to knit and I picked up a new craft called punch needle....we'll see how well it works out and if I like it. My hands just need something to do besides typing!

In Limbo

Today was my FIRST day to teach a lesson!!! My teacher told me what she wanted me to talk about, gave me the notes that went in their interactive journals, and said here ya go! So I made the brief  (2 slides) ppt on Chemical Formulas and the Law of Conservation of Mass. She only added in one thing and said it was excellent! She gave me three suggestions after I taught the first time and that was it. I wasn't NEAR as nervous as I thought I would be. Now that I'm thinking about it, I think it's because she has no more than 15 students in any of her classes. That probably helped a lot. I said the vocab words over and over, I put the definition into words I thought they could relate to. I made connections between previous experiments and the notes. I randomly called on students to answer questions (after I saw my teacher do it). I asked them to repeat what I had said. Now let me say, this was the most important thing I stumbled upon today! So I really only got to teach for about 15 minutes max btw. Anyway, after I repeated a definition of a word in about two or three different ways, I called on a student to tell me the definition. It was incredible how many students actually started to pay attention! I will say, the deer in the headlights look freaked me out quite a bit. I wasn't sure if they weren't understanding what I was saying or if they were just zoning out. The hardest thing, and something I didn't take into consideration when I was making the lesson, was that my students hadn't grasped a previous concept. By not understanding that concept, they weren't able to fully understand the notes. If I had more time I would have gone back and reiterated that concept, but the bell rang and I ran out of time. However, it was SOO much fun!!! I wasn't nervous in front of the kids and I just did my thing. It was...exhilarating! I can't wait to do it again!!

Rude Awakening

I guess I hoped that 8th graders were still innocent. I couldn't have been more wrong. Last week one of my students asked us why all the teachers were pregnant but we keep telling the kids not to get pregnant. After I realized she wasn't kidding, I was speechless. The common sense answer, "The teachers are married and have careers," wasn't enough for this student. As the conversation went on my mentor teacher and I told her that she had time to have children and she needed to enjoy life right now. In response she yelled, "I don't have time!"  It was mind boggling. What's more heartbreaking is if she wants to get pregnant in high school, she can. And she probably will.

So I know teachers aren't supposed to have favorites but let's face it, we're human too. So I was helping one of my favorites yesterday and the teacher's aid pulled me aside. She told me to look at this student's wrists.  Sure enough, she had three vertical cuts down her wrist. They weren't newly fresh but they were about two days old. It hit me so hard that I had to leave the classroom. I cried for this girl on my way home and prayed for her my entire drive. For some reason I thought 8th graders weren't this verse in the real world. Man oh man was I wrong. It's saddening. It's depressing. It makes me angry. But most of all, I want to love on this girl even more now.

On a lighter note, my teacher is letting me teach chemical formulas tomorrow!!!! She gave me the note taking strategy that she usually uses and told me to come up with a short powerpoint to explain chemical formulas and the Law of Conservation of Mass! I can't wait! Mondays and Wednesdays are my favorite days of the week!! Besides football days. :D

Mind Overload

I've had harder semesters than the one I'm currently in.  What makes this semester so different are the different levels of learning I'm engaging my brain in. So I'm still sitting in a classroom listening to professors lecture about blah blah this and that. Some of it helpful and some of it is the biggest waste of time and money. Then I shift to the semi adult world where I am in charge of students who ask academic, social, and moral questions. Who need guidance in more ways than one and at times look up to me more than their own teacher. It's quite a change which my mind and body are not used to. Then I shift to my third dimension of learning which is nothing like I've ever experienced before. Shift with me to the world of DD (where I work but I don't want to put their name here). It is technical, it is technological, and if you thought there were a lot of acronyms in education then come to my office. It is seriously like speaking another language.  There are times when my coworkers are talking and I honest to goodness did not understand a single word they said!! I'm stretching my brain in three different directions intellectually and it is pushing back, hard. I love the challenge, I love the new worlds I am being introduced to, but it's crazy. 

On a sadder note, I found out the other day that I'll be switching mentor teachers next semester.  My current mentor teacher is pregnant and due in March. I can't observe a substitute for obvious reasons. However, I'm starting to connect with these students. They're starting to understand the way I work and my expectations of them. They are slowly depending on me to guide them through activities, answer their questions, and just be another presence in the classroom. Now halfway through the school year I'm switching teachers. I'm very bummed. 

On a positive note, Mike and I are continually growing as a couple as we learn about "pink glasses, pink hearing aides, blue glasses, and blue hearing aides". It's amazing how one little topic can open the floodgates to wealth of understanding. Love and Respect is a gold mine.

If I was bored....

So last night may have been kind of a long night what with the Cowboys giving me a heartattack as I want to jump through the screen and STRANGLE Barron. However, I got about five hours of sleep and off to school I went. Mondays are rough days anyway for everybody but today was especially tough. I was exhausted and my teacher lectured ALL day. 

One thing my profs hound and beat us with is MODEL, MODEL, MODEL. Model EVERYTHING because the student's can't read your mind (just like husbands but we'll get to that). Today we took Cornell notes which is basically where the teacher provides an outline of the notes with some blanks and the kids fill in those blanks using the notes the teacher provides. All very simple and effective for note taking. Then she asked them to write a poem using the notes they had just taken. Their choices were a hiaku or a chiquain. Now she did have examples in their science journals but she didn't really explain it or explain the thought process. 

Now you have to remember that these students are the lowest of the lows when it comes to TAKS. Out of 50 questions the may have gotten 13 right, and that's on a good student. So these students need a bit more accommodation and help.  Honestly it got a bit tiring after awhile. I was  yawning so much it looked like I was crying. I was literally falling asleep. How sad is that?! The intern is falling asleep! How do you think your students are holding up?! I like aspects of her teaching but some of it I just want to say "Hey, these kids need EXTRA help, remember"? 

On a different note, Mike and I started Love and Respect and we got the workbooks to go with it. Twice a week we go to the gym then sit down and go through half of the questions from the workbook for the respective chapter. Tonight we started Chapter 2, Deciphering the Code. I haven't finished reading the chapter but so far this has opened up so many windows.  I knew I struggled in this area immensely, but what I didn't realize was how much it took a toll on Mike and, ultimately, our marriage. To help this we decided to get a journal. Unlike my husband I am not a wizard with spoken words. However, if I can sit down and think about what I want to say and how to make it comprehensible for someone else besides myself then I can communicate.  In this journal we write notes of encouragement (this is Mike's primary love language) and I'll write any frustrations I have. Having this outlet has had an unbelievable positive outcome. I struggle with the little things such as asking him to empty the dishwasher, take out the trash, etc. I'll let those little frustrations fester until something sets me off until we're arguing like a stupid high school couple.

First day of school

Wow what a day! Today was the first day I was able to be in a classroom with real students. That sounds silly but everything in my college career to this point has been theoretical. I was able to help the students move from one thinking level to the next! That is one of the most rewarding feelings when the students think beyond the basic material. I learned so much today and it was only day one! I can see how teachers would call their students their children. I have personally connected with some of them. I want to know their stories and their struggles. I want to help them and protect them. 

I found out today I'm in a Title I School but you'd never know from the look of it. Sadly I found out one of my students lost a lens in his glasses so he's been using just one lens and closing the other eye. Some of the students have children (I'm with 8th graders). Some of them have already been in juvie. Some of them have lost parents to violence. Some of them have lost valuable school information to violence as well. It breaks my heart. I left the school and cried because one of the stories was heartbreaking. 

Transitioning from the practice of theory to "practicing" my knowledge on students is going to be the greatest learning experience for me. Sadly the teacher I am with does everything our professors tell us not to do. 

Oih I could go on for ever!